Monday, 6 July 2015

injured


a few days ago, I twisted hardly my ankle on my way to work. it made me realize,I'm grown up now, when something like that happens,  you have to manage pain and anxiety in your own, and get yourself into a hospital, in the less dramatic way you can! I guess I'm still a child inside, because sometime in the middle of the rush, I wanted to cry so badly, but I handled it and I kept myself all together, I'm a grownup now... so, you can't loose it! It maybe look ridiculous, but when you put yourself into a vulnerable position, that's what happens, unpredictable emotions pour out of your heart and body, a shaking body.

So I'm spending lots of time laying down, still, with some pain and really slowly healing... so I must run away to some place magic to feel that, somehow, slow healing may be a good thing... as long as it's healing..

I couldn't wait for the bandage to stay in my foot for a week... so I took it out... my foot was all bruised, in purples and yellows, all swollen and injured. It's funny how it scared me a bit, I'm not used to be injured this way,  I think I can only remember I once injured this way when I was a kid at school playground...

I'm happy I'm feeling all this love for a sudden... no inspiration, no creativity, just carving into my heart. Maybe new things come up from this phase... I'm at home, feeling all the walls that hold it. My baby dogs are side by side with me, they've slowed down their runs so they can walk beside me through the rooms. I have my big baby taking good care of me, I can't feel more grateful.

I took my bandage and I swam through the water, I'm in it... I'm into a phase, becoming Summer, it kind of scares me, good things have always freaked me out, but, this is how life works right? lets enjoy the ride, we don't know how much it will stay this way...


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Sunday, 3 May 2015

embraced and awake


'and you wake up, while the butterflies weave'
a precious book I got signed by both wonderful writer and illustrator, Nina Da Lua and Joana Santamans.

I started the book outside in the porch, while the sun was hiding, and we were embraced by a late quiet evening... slow birds were preparing for a long sleep, and as I never, I confess, never read, I took this special moment for me. a gift. 

it's a book so filled with love, life knolewdge, a story of true living so beautifully created... check it out here 

before I noticed, I ended the book, movement came,  getting all set up for leaving headed to the mountains while the night was falling down.

next morning, the sun refused to come out, so I wandered through the different paths. Spring had managed to dye the landscape with intense greens and colorful flowers popping out. My wild cabin stood still, like no time had passed. It never changes, and that gives me the feeling, that no time goes by when you're inside... 
I've really noticed some things changing inside me... I've realized I've grown up, my body has changed this last year, I'm feeling older... it's taking me a while to accept I'm not in that young flesh anymore, but now, I feel it's ok, I can feel some kind of gratitude in it... these days I've appreciated something I have been away from... true nature, in spirit, in presence, with my whole honest soul. Slowing down, I've reached my true soul.

Next day, the sun was so bright, the sky so blue, the trees so handsome and splendid... I took the dogs for a walk around the messy paths full of wild scratchy bushes, and we got close to the small river... a path full of huge nettles almost makes us turn back, but we went through that rough way, and a wild small spot guide us through that hidden paradise... the dogs jumped into the water, the birds sang so loud, the trees danced nonstop with a warm breeze... and I got my feet bare and walked along the river. Icy water made my feet hurt for a bit, but then... I couldn't feel happier and beloved by nature. And I found myself, my old and young self, in that small hidden corner of the world, reconnecting with every piece of what surrounded me. I've reached my soul, I've given her some missing caring and love. So very little and so very much, it takes to heal...
(I only took a basket with some flowers I cut, a pair of scissors and my phone... so the pictures are not faithful to the beauty I saw...)
some trees looked like butterflies patterns...
look up, always look up at what covers our heads and plays shadows on our shoulders...
I got to say goodbye to the paradise so thankful, and hoping, I can keep this feeling for a while, I'm back, I'm less lost, I found a piece of me, sleeping in the frozen waters, I think, it's awaking now...

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Friday, 3 April 2015

la emoción de la línea plana


y no te quieres, porque estás llena de errores, errores escritos con hache, de tan malos que son. te hieres en el charco de tus desastres, en la imperfección tan compleja, en la normalidad anhelada. anhelo lo mundano, la emoción de línea plana, los latidos constantes, perfectos, sin anomalías, sin arritmias. la constante, la conformidad de las emociones, la no ambición de los sueños, o los sueños bajos, los que sin a penas elevarte del suelo, son alcanzables. el amor bendecido, noble y estático. no quiero ser errática, no por hoy. a veces mi intensidad es desmesurada y me puede, me hiere, me ansía, me deja sin aliento y me desnuda dejándome con sólo el pálpito del corazón asomando por la boca... me trago el terror, lo engullo para que desaparezca, pero regresa a mí... quiero sentir la mitad, quiero bajar el volumen, escuchar la armonía de esta vida, la naturaleza de los que cantan, la radio del vecino, y un par de ladridos de mis pequeños, que me envuelven en lo simple, amar y ser amado, sin más y sin condiciones, con la intensidad justa para emocionarme, y para extrañarles... sin más, sin menos, quiero la justa medida para no sobrevivir, para vivir, sencilla y justamente.

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Sunday, 8 March 2015

mimosa: my Springlove's name

m i m o s a
is this time of the year... how light slowly changes its' movements, baths everything it touches with a new sigh... my soul was yearning this dancing too much... light stretches hard to touch every nook of what Winter has left behind... and something changes, it's bringing Spring with it... 
Mimosa...
She awakes my soul. Can't stop marveling myself with its beauty... splendid delicate sprout, like a butterfly kiss, you can spot her as hidden as it can be. I feel as she can heal all the grey Winter thoughts I've had, with her stunning yellow softness, kind paint playing around with light and shadows all over my skin... we had a small affair this weekend and we played around until noon
<3

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Wednesday, 18 February 2015

ROMA



La Grande Roma.

This trip has joined three different people who share the same passion: photography. Different souls that have never ever met before in flesh. We found ourselves dancing in Rome, in the astonishing, gigantic and huge Rome. We wanted to flow with its' beauty... we ran trying to catch those elusive last beams and flares over Tévere...!  We also got our feet bare of shoes in the city of Vaticano, while dozens of people wondered what were those crazy girls doing! It has been such an intense experience. It's been so long since I've travelled, and I've never travelled with 'strangers', though they have now become special souls for me.

Oh Roma..! La grandissima Belleza! thank you for these amazing three nights under your stars, surrounded by your history and embraced by your fountains, birds and language... I'm sure we'll be back to Italy...

and we danced, and danced...
happy me by Cristina Prat
ci vediamo Italia...



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