injured

a few days ago, I twisted hardly my ankle on my way to work. it made me realize,I'm grown up now, when something like that happens,  you have to manage pain and anxiety in your own, and get yourself into a hospital, in the less dramatic way you can! I guess I'm still a child inside, because sometime in the middle of the rush, I wanted to cry so badly, but I handled it and I kept myself all together, I'm a grownup now... so, you can't loose it! It maybe look ridiculous, but when you put yourself into a vulnerable position, that's what happens, unpredictable emotions pour out of your heart and body, a shaking body.

So I'm spending lots of time laying down, still, with some pain and really slowly healing... so I must run away to some place magic to feel that, somehow, slow healing may be a good thing... as long as it's healing..

I couldn't wait for the bandage to stay in my foot for a week... so I took it out... my foot was all bruised, in purples and yellows, all swollen and injured. It's funny how it scared me a bit, I'm not used to be injured this way,  I think I can only remember I once injured this way when I was a kid at school playground...

I'm happy I'm feeling all this love for a sudden... no inspiration, no creativity, just carving into my heart. Maybe new things come up from this phase... I'm at home, feeling all the walls that hold it. My baby dogs are side by side with me, they've slowed down their runs so they can walk beside me through the rooms. I have my big baby taking good care of me, I can't feel more grateful.

I took my bandage and I swam through the water, I'm in it... I'm into a phase, becoming Summer, it kind of scares me, good things have always freaked me out, but, this is how life works right? lets enjoy the ride, we don't know how much it will stay this way...

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embraced

I can't explain quite well the feeling of being alone in this house... but is the way I feel less lonely... all my memories, are in every place I look... I can stare at that window... where once there was a plum tree where we use to pick so many plums between my grandmother and my mum... boxes full of them... now, a while ago, the tree died... time passes by... everything changes, but other things are still there, and I can stand beside them time... remembering the noises that home had once, the voices, smiles, unique moments, music, songs, laughs... this house was all but silence... and now... it has changed so much, but I can feel how all these chilhood embraces me and makes me feel warm and cozy, I feel like an invisible protection there. I love to spend time here by my self. This time, Boira stayed with me...

(sorry for some bad quality images, all have been taken with my phone...)

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summer mermaid feelings

lightening storms, birds's songs, shaky leaves, thunder, wild dancing under the stars, tones of doubts, lots of love, light shinning, light through the glass, light over my skin, bare skin, deep conversations, present, past, future. changes, friends, silence, coziness, wilderness, slow and fast days, I wanna be a hippie, stars, moon, decisions, memories, frogs, books, wood, country, old, fears, proudness, tears, time, life.

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some rainy lines

you think you're becoming someone different, you feel you're reaching your truly self,  I was feeling wild, free, flying away off my long cold winter, warming my soul under the sun, meeting happiness in other people eyes, but today, I realized, I'm still the same. My fears are still living in my inside, my doubts, my permanent sadness, and it's not the first time it happens to me, so, I've decided I want to change this. I'm afraid today it's not the day to start, but I will, I don't want to loose what I've reached, that beautiful part, is also part of me...

as a song that I'm listening just now sings, please set me free, but that's me that must set myself free from fears and take better care of myself, and of the ones that are around me... and as a new friend told me the other day, I must fall in love with myself...

I'll keep on trying... and keep on flowing with life, and dreaming... never stop dreaming

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este mes de Junio

qué la vida se apodere de mi electricidad! que corre por venas finas, entre espacios socorridos, y largos tiempos dormitando rodeada de agua, cortocircuitándome de vez en cuando...

mientras me ahogaba entre mis aguas movedizas, resulta que me impulsé una noche hacia la superfície. Y tras mi cielo sin oxígeno, se hallaba un infinito de estrellas.

constelaciones que ahora se reflejan en mi piel. y quién soy yo ahora? no dejo de preguntarme, y cómo es posible respirar con pulmones y no con suspiros?

y miro al cielo, y guardo esa sensación de abismo, precioso. (como dice María Coma)

celebro la vida unos minutos, no sea que se apague, como  una vengala, tan eléctrica, tan efímera.

las sensaciones discurren entre las manos... hoy en forma de cerezas, de frambuesas, de luces y sombras, de recuerdos de este mes de Junio, un mes difícil de olvidar...

y de bránqueas a pulmones, y de aletas a unas alas, que poco a poco, lentamente, algo tarde, van creciendo. 

manos y abrazos van secando las escamas y las convierten en poros, que absorben sin cesar, vida. Con más inconsciencia que miedo, con menos miedo y más ganas, a fragmentos, estoy recomponiendo algo llamado yo.

(more images in my website)

(sorry for not translating this post. I needed to write it in my own home language... see you in my next post!)

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bits&pieces of August | part III | summer mornings

I wanted to share one only post about mornings in this house, because I just love to wake up there and pick up the camera or the phone and take some pictures of the glorious light that comes in at that time... 

Is the one thing I miss at home, waking up with the heat leaning next to you, or all over your skin, is maybe one of the bigger pleasures I love... I must sleep with opened windows so the sun can reach my room and come inside...

so here there are some of these moments...

* we sleep with the mattress on the floor, cause the bed's structure is too old and we just can't sleep on top of it, so we put our bed under the window on the ground, and I must say, I love it!

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PART I, PART II, PART III