embraced and awake

'and you wake up, while the butterflies weave'

a precious book I got signed by both wonderful writer and illustrator, Nina Da Lua and Joana Santamans.

I started the book outside in the porch, while the sun was hiding, and we were embraced by a late quiet evening... slow birds were preparing for a long sleep, and as I never, I confess, never read, I took this special moment for me. a gift. 

it's a book so filled with love, life knolewdge, a story of true living so beautifully created... check it out here 

before I noticed, I ended the book, movement came,  getting all set up for leaving headed to the mountains while the night was falling down.

next morning, the sun refused to come out, so I wandered through the different paths. Spring had managed to dye the landscape with intense greens and colorful flowers popping out. My wild cabin stood still, like no time had passed. It never changes, and that gives me the feeling, that no time goes by when you're inside... 

I've really noticed some things changing inside me... I've realized I've grown up, my body has changed this last year, I'm feeling older... it's taking me a while to accept I'm not in that young flesh anymore, but now, I feel it's ok, I can feel some kind of gratitude in it... these days I've appreciated something I have been away from... true nature, in spirit, in presence, with my whole honest soul. Slowing down, I've reached my true soul.

Next day, the sun was so bright, the sky so blue, the trees so handsome and splendid... I took the dogs for a walk around the messy paths full of wild scratchy bushes, and we got close to the small river... a path full of huge nettles almost makes us turn back, but we went through that rough way, and a wild small spot guide us through that hidden paradise... the dogs jumped into the water, the birds sang so loud, the trees danced nonstop with a warm breeze... and I got my feet bare and walked along the river. Icy water made my feet hurt for a bit, but then... I couldn't feel happier and beloved by nature. And I found myself, my old and young self, in that small hidden corner of the world, reconnecting with every piece of what surrounded me. I've reached my soul, I've given her some missing caring and love. So very little and so very much, it takes to heal...
(I only took a basket with some flowers I cut, a pair of scissors and my phone... so the pictures are not faithful to the beauty I saw...)

some trees looked like butterflies patterns...

look up, always look up at what covers our heads and plays shadows on our shoulders...

I got to say goodbye to the paradise so thankful, and hoping, I can keep this feeling for a while, I'm back, I'm less lost, I found a piece of me, sleeping in the frozen waters, I think, it's awaking now...

 © all righst reserved

some rainy lines

you think you're becoming someone different, you feel you're reaching your truly self,  I was feeling wild, free, flying away off my long cold winter, warming my soul under the sun, meeting happiness in other people eyes, but today, I realized, I'm still the same. My fears are still living in my inside, my doubts, my permanent sadness, and it's not the first time it happens to me, so, I've decided I want to change this. I'm afraid today it's not the day to start, but I will, I don't want to loose what I've reached, that beautiful part, is also part of me...

as a song that I'm listening just now sings, please set me free, but that's me that must set myself free from fears and take better care of myself, and of the ones that are around me... and as a new friend told me the other day, I must fall in love with myself...

I'll keep on trying... and keep on flowing with life, and dreaming... never stop dreaming

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that Saturday

I guess life doesn't stop teaching us things... putting us through rough stories, trying to get us to see what is invisible to our sight, sometimes. It's quite easy for me to surrender on the first fall, but I guess we can find beauty within the fall, in pain, we can let us sink down, touch our deepest thoughts and feelings, and letting go tears that will heal and dry with the morning sun... I'm trying to figure out what life is trying to teach me right now, for a start, I'm learning and reading, 

I want to learn how to live, and stop surviving.

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mountain trip | part II

wood, birds, morning, clouds, ... love waking up in here.

I can picture scenes from when I was little so well... My grandfather, sitting in the living room, listening to some music while he reads the newspaper... my grandmother, in the kitchen, humming self made songs, while she makes coffee, and french toast... people coming down from the rooms to meet at this kitchen table...

now, everything is so quiet, but, I can still picture these memories so well...

Holocene Bon Iver

                                                                                                                         © all rigths reserved

spring growing

springtime weekends

our backyard's starting its' silent explosion... little by little, really slowly, very early in the mornings, just when the sun starts to show up over the sea, you can hear the garden growing, waking up, opening its sleepy leafs, small coiled flowers becoming the most perfect beauty... It's all so quiet, it moves so slowly... you must pay attention to every move they make... it's just amazing... spring it's waking up...

* hope to have images about this becoming in my backyard...

So, went to fetch some flowers and vegetables to grow in the garden...

(sorry for the low quality of the images, hope to shoot with my camera for the blog! using to much iphone lately...)